When I was a child I remember my mom telling me a story of her dad returning from a trip into town to buy groceries and other supplies. He bought each of the kids candy bars; there were nine of them. This was a personal touch that made each child feel loved and thought of. As a large Amish family, buying anything extra, like candy bars, was a big deal . . . but still it was a simple way to show love.
As a mother of two young daughters I am desperate for them to understand what love their daddy and I have for them—and ultimately the love of their Father in Heaven. We decided to have more intentional one-on-one time with each of them, starting with our five-year-old, and do something with just her on the 25th of each month this year. We chose the 25th because her birthday is the 25th of April.
Felicity is a dynamic little girl. She has more imagination in her little pinky than I could ever hope for. She is observant, tender-hearted, and silly. She loves books, horses, princesses, and dinosaurs. She is an outstanding big sister to Mercy. She loves to be wherever her daddy and I are.
In January, Mercy (two years old) was already in bed and Felicity was shocked when our babysitter arrived. I told her it was date night with Felicity. I thought her smile was going to go beyond the borders of her sweet face! She said in the vehicle on our way to get hot chocolate that her mouth just can’t stop smiling. She was just so happy.
We took her to Books-a-million for hot chocolate (a double espresso for me), and we read books! She picked out four Dr. Suess books, and her favorite was one about lizards. Yes, she loves anything that resembles dinosaurs! Then, because there was a big sale (three books for the price of two), she picked out a few I Can Read books: Pinkalicious, Fancy Nancy, and a Mercer Mayer book.
As we got home we tucked her into bed, and I told her the 25th of each month we’d do something special with her. Sometimes just one parent and that it would sometimes be going out or staying in.
“So, our date was kind of like you were celebrating me?” Felicity said.
“Yes!” I just wanted to shout it!!!
We should be celebrating the joy of our children every chance we get! It doesn’t have to take money or even a lot of time, just a little planning. I’m already excited for when Mercy gets a little older and we can celebrate her on the 5th of each month.
Here are some simple ways you can show your child how much you love them on a daughter/son date.
Hot Chocolate with lots of whipped cream (in or out)
Mini-pedi & mini-mani (obviously for girls, in or out)
Letting him or her stay up a bit past bedtime to watch a movie of his or her choice
Take a walk with just him or her to talk about what he or she wants to talk about
Go to the park and play
Let him or her plan a special meal for dinner on the special day
Go out for ice cream (or stay in)
Watch YouTube videos (prescreened of course) on a topic he or she loves, just with the special child
Bake something together
Do a special craft
Chinese Buffet (this is a special thing for just Felicity & daddy)
God ice skating (we have one in our mall!)
Go on a bike ride together
Sit down and play a video or computer game with him or her
Tea party
A fancy, dress-up dinner
Chore coupon (a day free of chores!)
For us, it doesn’t really matter what the activity is; our intention is to have it be a time for just Felicity and no distractions. Every child deserves some one-on-one attention.
I know most of my ideas work better for girls than boys, so I’d love to hear in the comments section more ideas for the wonderful sons out there. I’d love to hear any ideas!
This is a simple and easy way to show your love with your children!
Bis Schpatah,
Elizabeth
Elizabeth Byler Younts used to be Amish, and even after her family converted, she still grew up among her Amish family. She is still very close with them and still speaks Pennsylvania Dutch regularly. She is the author of an Amish memoir titled Seasons: A Real Story of an Amish Girl. Seasons is the story of her grandmother Lydia Lee Coblentz who grew up in an impoverished Amish family through the Great Depression. Seasons was released in August 2010 and quickly became an Amazon bestseller in three categories. Elizabeth is a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers. She is an Air Force Officer’s wife with two young daughters and makes her home wherever her family is stationed.
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Hello, My son is older. Ej is 14 and we have a standing date to have Sushi once a month and while dad is deployed to the Middle East. We will also be having a weekend away a month so Ej knows how important he is to us.
hi Teresa-Thanks for stopping by! What a great thing you are doing for your son. My husband is also active duty and when we went through our first deployment last year…I totally understand! My daughters were a lot younger, so skype was integral for us to stay connected! Again, welcome & I hope you come back!
My sons (and daughter) love bike rides, even though they can all ride on their own, I bought a tagalong bike, it attaches to the back of mine. Last summer we could go on 8-12 mile rides together and we had some of the best chats, I loved it. Added bonus I could get my workout in for the day! We also love going on nature walks. With my daughter, one of our favorite times is to send the boys away and snuggle up and watch a “girl” movie together. We also enjoy going to watch collegiate woman’s sporting events, it is very inexpensive and she loves basketball and soccer. Just this week I bought my boys “Dude Diaries,” it is a book with random questions to answer and have had a great time going through those with them.
I love your idea of being intentional with the special time and using the day of the month they were born. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much for stopping by Shella! It sounds like you are very active with your mom/child dates!
I am the oldest of 11, and my mom worked hard at making sure we always knew we were special. She used to take us on dates! I have very fond memories of it! I am not sure how she did so well with it as I only have four and struggle with it!
Wow! 11!!!!!! Yes, if she can do 11…I guess I can do 2! LIttle things with intention go a long way!
What a wonderful idea. I used to do that with my kids, one on one, but not as consistently as you have planned. I am sharing this with my kids for the sake of their children. Thank you.
Please share! Thanks for stopping by! I Love visiting your blog, too!!!!
I remember collecting cards with my son. Did I like cards?….not at all. But the connection with him, I loved. I lost track of all the dingy card shops we went to. I decided to start collecting Operation Desert Storm cards while he collected sports cards. It actually became fun and the connection was great.
Love what you wrote. It touched my heart. So love you….
Your post is making me think fondly of when my son was a toddler. These days as a college student I have to think how to show him love from a distance. I have become queen of the care package. I bake cookies and pack in his favorite junk foods: jerky, pretzels, etc. I include things he needs like a travel alarm clock, new earbuds for his iPod, and socks! I also send him postcards with silly comments or bible verses of encouragement. I want him to get tangible reminders rather than just a text or an email.
Sounds like you’re getting it right for you big kid!
SOOO good, Elizabeth. I wish I’d had this idea when my kids were little -to have a date on their birthdate each month.
It’s never too late…maybe a little snail-mail note or email would give them that little blessing each month!
Playing LEGOs with your son; building something (a birdhouse or bookends or something small); teaching him a card game; teaching him how to cook something; doing crossword or jigsaw puzzles together; playing the board game of his choice; taking him to a pet store or zoo or farm to see animals; starting a bird watching life list with him; teaching him to sew on a button and iron a shirt; taking him on a walk and letting him choose the direction; letting him teach *you* something – a video game, a favorite song, how to throw a football….. lots of things you can do with your sons.
My parents gave us what we called “MY Day” once a year – each of us got to choose one parent and for that day, the parent was at our disposal, with no one else involved (a treat for a girl with two brothers) – where we wanted to go, what we wanted to eat, what we wanted to buy, etc. There were some limits (I can still remember being forced to choose between a metal stroller for my doll and a trip to the local amusement park…), but pretty much we were in charge. We looked forward to “MY Day” all year!