“Storytelling is a shared experience, and shared experiences are the basis of all relationships.” J.G. Pinkerton
Years ago I read A Midwife’s Story, by Penny Armstrong and Sheryl Feldman. It chronicles Penny’s work as a midwife among the Amish during the 1970s. It’s a book I’ve reread over and over, and it’s definitely on my top-five list of favorite books, ever. (And I highly recommend it to anyone interested in the Amish, midwifery, or both!)
I had two of my four babies at home. Because I had that “shared experience” with the women in the book, I felt connected to them. I “knew” their stories.
But I never dreamed that shared experience would be a primary bond to a real-life Amish woman—I’ll call her Mary—more than twenty years later.
Several times as I visited Mary on her farm just over a year ago, she said to me, “I can’t believe you had home births.” It wasn’t what she expected from an Englisch author! (She’d had all seven of her children at home, with a midwife.)
As my time with Mary progressed, I asked her what her wishes for her children were. She answered, “That they grow up to know Jesus as their personal savior and follow his teachings.”
I nodded and said, “We have that in common too.”
Sitting at Mary’s kitchen table, I felt a genuine sense of community with her even though we live our daily lives in two separate cultures. Our shared experiences as both believers and mothers had created an instantaneous bond, one that continues through cards and letters.
Is there someone you share a bond with because of a shared experience? Has that bond fostered a sense of community? Please share!
Leslie Gould is the award-winning author of fifteen novels, including the #1 bestseller and Christy Award winner The Amish Midwife, co-written with Mindy Starns Clark. Her latest release is Courting Cate, a retelling of the “Taming of the Shrew,” the first in The Courtships of Lancaster County series. Leslie received her master of fine arts in creative writing from Portland State University in 2009 and has taught fiction as an adjunct professor at Multnomah University. She, her husband, Peter, and their four children live in Portland, Oregon. Visit her at www.lesliegould.com.
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My mom is a midwife and I am a doula, and we both work with Amish clients. For me, I always found it amazing that birth in universal. It is a language that women speak, and go override culture barriers!
Martha–I agree. Birth is one of the most universal experiences that there is. It totally overrides culture! Blessings to you and your mom for the wonderful work that you do!
Leslie, thank you for sharing your experiences. I ordered the book because you piqued my interest. I have a young friend that I became acquainted with through Amish Living when she and her young husband were Englisch. They have since moved to Wolcottville, IN and will be baptized into the Amish faith this spring. They are expecting their first child in May, and I’m interested in her experiences with a midwife. We keep in touch as penpals, and she blesses me with every letter. She and her husband have given up all things Englisch to embrace the Amish faith and community. Looking forward to reading “A Midwife’s Story.”
Childbirth is a bonding experience, but I’ve also learned that losing a child is a bonding experience, although one that none of us ever wanted. I have made many good friends through sharing the pain of loss and the comfort Jesus brings.