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The Amish Funny Bone | Guest Post by Suzanne Woods Fisher | Not Quite Amish

The Amish Funny Bone | Guest Post by Suzanne Woods Fisher

© Bill Coleman/amishphoto.com

If you are under the impression the Amish don’t have a sense of humor, well, “have another think.” Here’s a favorite: “‘One must remember where it comes from,’ said the farmer when the mule kicked him.”

Wouldn’t you love to know the story behind that one?

One of the main tasks of the Christian life is to grow out of folly and into wisdom. Wisdom flows from good character. But part of the process of developing a good character involves making mistakes. Many bromides take a tongue-in-cheek approach to life’s mishaps.

“Every hen will lay an imperfect egg now and then” implies that accidents happen in the best of families. “Even a clever hen will lay outside the nest” means that everyone makes mistakes.

But a man who doesn’t learn from his mistakes?

Well, as the saying goes, “He went through school like the mule through the mill; in at one end and out at the other.”

Now that is cause for concern.

Every family tree has a little sap. 

© Bill Coleman/amishphoto.com

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Those who have no children know best how to raise them.

If the grass looks greener on the other side, fertilize.

Short hair is quickly brushed.

If you can swallow a pill while drinking from a water fountain, you deserve to get well.

Kissing wears out, cooking don’t.

A woman’s work is not seen unless it’s not done.

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s the wife who can’t cook and will.

Conscience: that still, small voice that makes you even smaller.

Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you are interrupting.

Don’t sell a poor horse near home.

The world has too many cranks and not enough self-starters.

A lot of church members singing “Standing on the Promises” are just sitting on the premises.

Sometimes elbow grease is the most valuable tool in the kitchen.

Age is of no importance unless you are cheese.

Laugh and the world laughs with you; snore and you sleep alone.

Doing nothing is the most tiresome job in the world because it’s impossible to quit to take a rest.

Confidence is the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation.

Happiness is like jam; it’s almost impossible to spread it around without getting some on yourself. 

If everything is coming your direction, you are in the wrong lane.

© Bill Coleman/amishphoto.com

A wooden spoon compels even the strangest of ingredients to get their acts together.

An honest cook serves her food with the burnt side up.

Daylight saving time is based on the ancient idea of lengthening a blanket by cutting off one end and seeing it on the other end.

One of the best things to have up your sleeve is your funny bone.

Firewood heats you twice—once when you cut it and again when you burn it.

A perfectionist is someone who takes great pains and gives them to others.

Always do right. This will gratify some and astonish the rest.

Don’t waste time looking backward. You’ll only trip.

Memory is that thing which reminds us we have forgotten something that we cannot remember.

Winter is the season where we keep the house as hot as it was last summer when we complained about it being too hot.

Marriages are made in heaven; but then so are thunder and lightning.

Few things have a shorter life span than a clean garage.

Middle age starts on the day you become more concerned with how far a horse will go rather than how fast. 

By the time most folks get to greener pastures, they can’t climb the fence.


Excerpted from the newly re-released Amish Proverbs: Words of Wisdom from the Simple Life with permission by Revell Books.

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Guest Contributor (80 Posts)


  1. I love these little quotes. How fun!

  2. A favorite of my Granddad’s was: “You can put your boots in the oven, but that don’t make ’em biscuits.” A man with a phrase, my Granddad. 🙂

  3. Love them. Thanks for sharing!

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